Know what? I think I have the talent to bring out the best in people… wanna know why I said that? Well, apparently, I have come across a lot of quiet people during my projects (in college and at work) and after a few encouragements from me, they were able to talk freely to me… which is always a nice change from me talking to them and having a one way conversation only...

 

For example, during environment camp last two weeks I took care of this one group and there was this one Chinese girl who looks like she’s not enjoying herself. Whenever I hold a group, I make sure that everybody’s happy and then they’d be more willing to participate in the activities. Back to this Chinese girl, it was during our last day and also our last activity, we ran out of time to write up what we want to present and I told her to write another part of the presentation which was the comments and findings parts. Since I helped her and she was the one who was writing it is best that she presented it. I asked her to do that cos I know she can be a good presenter. But she said she didn’t want to cos she cannot speak publicly and she’ll get stage fright and all… I keep on encouraging her and telling her that it’s gonna be a short presentation. I also told her that I was once scared of talking in front of public audience and somehow I got over it (actually I haven’t quite gotten over it… hehe) and I told her how you have to start somewhere and plus other things… she finally relented and I finally was able to coax her to present…

Unfortunately, we didn’t have time for 2 presenters per group and we had to let the people who are doing recommendations to present… I feel really bad especially after getting her confidence level up and she was finally willing to give it a try and all… so, the best I can do is to pat her back and say “sorry you weren’t able to present today but I hope at school, you will try to overcome the fear and try to volunteer to speak in class....” and then she thanked me with a grateful smile on her face… and I was feeling good inside cos I was able to help somebody…

 

The other time was when I went to Sarawak… she was the (another Chinese girl) quietest girl in the group and I tried really hard to bring her in the discussion as well… I managed to talk to her a bit after that but that’s just about it… but when I get to the Peninsular again, she wrote a letter to me and I replied and we went back and forth like that. She told me about her problems with her family and guy problems and I give out advices and all… although it’s easier through e-mail, she said she couldn’t afford going to cyber cafes to reply mails cos she comes from a poor family and they couldn’t afford to buy a computer. Her parents even forbid her to further her studies in local unis cos they said they cannot afford it… I feel so sorry for her… I told her there are other alternatives but her parents would hear none of it… now she’s working as a clerk and helping out the family. I told her that she leads a different life than mine and maybe in her condition it’s best to follow what her parents say but I told her also, never stop thinking about furthering your studies and getting a degree or a diploma… qualifications are really important… she takes my advise and now she’s working… she thanked me so much for being a shoulder to cry on and being there for her although we’re hundred miles apart… that’s the least I could do to help her I think… I’ll try to help in any way that I can… especially the less fortunate ones. It teaches you how to be humble and to be grateful with what you have… although we might not have what we want (a certain type of car, not being able to eat at TGIF cos not enough money for the month, etc…) but at least we have the privilege to actually have a car and you have tasted TGIF’s sirloin steak or whatever… pity all those other people who don’t even have legs to push the pedal of a car… or walking even… and those who don’t have enough to eat…

 

I’m way out of topic here…

 

 Sorry…

about naz and sam...

I heard a lot of stories and I was told that what Sam said was not true... a friend of mine asked naz directly about it... well, actually he kinda teased naz about it but naz didn't quite get what he said... later, when Naz heard about the rumours and how many people had known about it, he almost cried and he denied having anything to do with Sam... he said that he did fell asleep in Sam's room and when he woke up it was already afternoon... from last night up to that noon, God knows how many people had seen him with Sam... means... Sam might have done something to him without him realising it... for all he knows, he was having a great wet dream...
He said no wonder people have been treating him differently ever since he got in college... turns out almost everybody who's everybody knows about it... even the college supervisor...

I kinda pity Naz... people like Sam spreads rumour about somebody and it spreads like wild fire... actually, Sam is a questionable person (if this is the right word)... Sam's kind of people have the tendency to do it cos he wants to tell other people like him that "he's made it"... making somebody desirable for both girls and guys to do "something" with him... if you get what I mean...  

yeah... anyways....

23.6.04

 

It's been soooo long since the last time I wrote, I know...

 

I have been kinda busy. In fact, I just finished a workshop that our working group organized on community participation of taking care of their river... I guess it was a good turn out for a workshop… but then again, what do I know about workshop?

We had it at a hotel and I was in charge of the registration counter… I came at about 8 and by 8.30am people are already coming which is good…. The project that I’m working on very practical and close to our hearts as it deals with the environment around us. So much progress have been made and it’s a miracle that my project supervisor got it going and running and also getting support from a lot of government and non government bodies plus very good response from the community itself.

 

We’re going to make a sort of handbook for the teachers to use it on theirs students and we’ll be having an environment camp sometime in August, I think. The person who most probably be in charge of the camp would be my lecturer… in fact, he was present at the workshop and we got to talking and he was telling another colleague of mine to take care of me and teach me stuff… and he said to me, kinda giving me and assurance that I can actually do environment… I told him I never really thought that I’d actually go into this field… but I did…. : ) After that, we had lunch at the hotel and there was this guy from IWK approached me and if I’m not mistaken, he kinda offered me a job… he asked me, I think,  would I like to work in IWK… I told him I did want to ask for a job there but I figured that it was kinda hard… so I didn’t actually sent them anything… he was a senior exec in communications dept and he asked me whether I can speak BM and English and I said I can and he asked me whether am I familiar with environmental terms and such and whether I can translate or come up with articles or ads and all… I said I can translate… and I can try coming up with a catchy slogan or an ad or something but if he asked me to write from scratch, esp on environmental issues, I don’t think I have enough experiences to actually carry that one out yet… at the end of the day, I emailed him and he said he’d call me shortly… he seems to forget that I did not give him my mobile phone number…

 

24.06.04

 

Btw, I never did get the chance to actually tell you the people that I work with… well, I have a great team with me on our project and they’re very dedicated and enthusiastic with what they’re doing and I respect and like it… cos when they’re passionate about it, I would be motivated too… the working environment is great… it’s relaxed, and not much of a rush except when we have a deadline… I hardly see my big boss cos he’s a workaholic and he stays in his office all day tapping away on the computer… and my supervisor is a bit erratic and he asks me to do stuff without explaining much and I have to go over to his place a lot of times to verify what I’m doing is right or wrong…   but he does his job very well and I respect that… I have my own desk (naturally!) but it’s like a little office to me cos it’s like a cube but not quite… it’s at the back of the room and the partition makes it look like an area of my own… my little office, I call it…

 

Oh yeah, the reason I’m writing about my colleagues was I want to say that there’s this Chinese guy, who kinda supervise another project that we have, which I like to look at… he’s cute and he’s got a toothy grin and a nice smell… *dreamy sigh* …I wouldn’t call it a crush… yet… hehe… but he’s mild mannered, and courteous and every other day he’d come to ‘my little office’ and ask me how I’m holding up and such. He’s a nice guy, basically… when I first saw him I thought he looked like 24 or 25 or something… but he’s 27 this year… he celebrated it a few days ago… in fact, today we’re gonna have an office lunch party where they usually celebrate anybody’s birthday that month… this month is his birthday and our big boss’s birthday… at first he looked kinda young to me but then again, for a Chinese, he does look like 27 if you look closely… and there’s this other colleague of mine who works in another dept… she just started, just like me and she looked like a fresh grad… turns out, she is 30! And she look so young… I really can’t believe it… so I said that I was astonished… I guess she leads a healthy lifestyle plus good genes… she doesn’t even have white hair!! She scuba dives, she climb rocks or something and she always cycle to work… that’s why she is how she is, I think…

 

I think that should be enough of an update for this week…

 

Anyways… this will be all for now…

 

I’ll catch you guys later….

 

Guess what? I’m at work now... reading a bunch of materials that were given to me by my supervisor... a thick proposal and an equally thick report... and he also updated me on the project that we will be working on... just basic first day stuff...  

There’s not much choice of food here… and although there is one, it’s an expensive restaurant… for somebody who just started and with a meagre salary like me, I don’t think I can afford it yet… but they serve my kind of food… yum… yum…

 

 

Oh yeah, other than me, there are two more girls who are new here… there’s this girl called Murni… cute and very friendly… at first, when she came out of her car, I thought she was a permanent or something but turns out she is a newbie like me! Her dad’s a diplomat and although she’s Malaysian (I think) she has spent all her life in Australia and she just graduated from university of Canberra. And there’s another girl, she’s in charge of communications making flyers and such and I thought she was a fresh grad like us, turns out she was 30 years old!! But she looks so young!!! I was really amazed…a great way to start a first day at the job… the people are friendly and helpful and things are laidback… it’s cool…

 

I think I’m gonna like it here…    

 

P/S- yesterday I got a call for an interview from popular bookstore for the post of management trainee… awww shucks… I really want to work there but fate has got other plans for me… I’m taking things one day at a time as they come… I guess first come first served… ; )

 

 

THE STORY ABOUT THEM…

Here I am… contemplating whether to tell or not to tell… not that the person/s involved is/are going to read this or anything but… some of you might think that this sort of thing is no big deal anymore but call me old fashioned… and I’m worried… here goes...

I got to know this from a friend and when I first heard about it I was speechless and I don’t know what to think… I thought, “This is not really happening, is it? Not in my college… not somebody I know…” Well… this is how the story goes… and later I found out it was kinda true…

My junior, let’s call him Sam, is watching a movie on his laptop with his friend, who is also my friend, let’s call him Naz. In that room there are two other guys who were watching the movie with Sam and Naz. Somehow, Naz fell asleep on Sam’s shoulder but Sam continued on watching. Later, when he woke up, I dunno how, he kissed Sam and ignoring the other two guys, he continued doing it and more… Sam tried to resist but I guess he submitted to Naz… and on they went… the two guys were kinda baffled and not knowing how to react to this, they went out of the room speechless… Sam confessed to my friend about this and he said it happened a few times. Naz coming into his room while he was studying and there they go again and again… they even did the 69 position!! Sam kinda regret that it ever happened and that’s why he told my friend… so, my friend advised him not to let Naz in the room when he’s alone…

Sam is… how should I say, a bit “soft” and this Naz guy is a normal guy, I thought… until I knew bout this story. I can never look at Naz the same away again… I guess I don’t really blame Sam cos it’s kinda not his fault… sure he was a willing participant but Naz started it and can you blame a guy who is already weak spiritually and his instincts is more womanly than manly and it is more pronounced when he arrived in college… he even wore a dress during the college’s annual dinner… and he still looks like a man.

I thought only Sam’s close friends know about this but turns out, quite a few guys already know about Naz’s “activities”… our seniors who are already finished their studies and working. This is what my roommate told me but I really want to ask them myself what do they know so that I can put two and two together… looks like Sam is not his first victim. There was another guy, Cyp, who is very soft spoken and a very nice person. Now, he looks like a girl and he even has a boyfriend! His housemate, Baby (who used to be a guy now a ‘girl’) says he takes his hormone pills religiously and thus his body is becoming more of a woman than a man’s… Baby is another story altogether… maybe I’ll write about him/her sometime… anyways, he was involved with Naz and he became what he is now because of Naz and Naz left him because of another girl…

Like I said, I’m old-fashioned and you might say a bit religious…a lot of these things are happening and I really feel ashamed when I hear that these are the people who worship the same God and follow the same values that I am. Especially in Naz’s case. He is a third year student of religious studies and when he graduates he will be teaching kids about religion. Would you want a person like him to teach your children about good values and religious beliefs when he himself is doing and acting against God’s teachings?!

I leave it for you to think… 

I know I kinda promised to write something but somehow I don't have the time yet... about the rumour thingy, I told my best friend, Hana and she was shocked as I was when I first heard it... then we had a very long discussion about it over french fries and ice blended mocha and she told her story and we were laughing about the thing... it's no laughing matter to me cos it's bewildering but we just couldn't help ourselves... :)

I really need to write about it soon... who knows, I'll finish the write up tonite and post it up so that you can actually know what I'm talking about...

Btw, I GOT A JOB already!!!! Yay!!! I'll start on the 15th... but I kinda don't know where to stay yet... my uncle told me to stay with his family as there are too many awful things going on around there... murder, rape, bag-snatching... my mum is sooooo worried of letting me go.... but you can't expect me to stay at home forever, right? how am I gonna earn a living... I have to fulfill my 5-year plan... to have a great job and loving what I do, my own car and maybe, if I'm lucky enough, a house and finally getting married at the end of that 5 year... I still have a long way to go...
And also, before getting married, I hope I'd be able to backpack across Europe or at least travel abroad... I'd love to go to UK, Japan or Korea... I love Japanese and Korean stationaries... they're just made of very good quality products...

why am I talking about stationaries?!